- What a long title, but it describes most of my life. My birthday was a few days ago. Throughout the years, I have gotten used to not expecting any celebration or private time. However, my children were excited about my birthday (partly because they get to eat cake). They made me cards, colored pictures, and did their chores without having to remind them many times.The five-year-old told me: “Mommy I feel sorry for you, I am naughty most of the time. I will help today, and I am sorry.”
Wow, big words and she really meant them!
Any birthday wishes? I prepared a list:
1. I would like to sleep without being aware of what is going around me. When I am “sleeping”, I can hear (or imagine hearing) any noise in the house. Sometimes I wake up believing that the baby crying, but he is asleep. More recently, I have been waking up because my three-year-old with autism starts screaming in the middle of the night. By the time I figure out what is wrong, and I am able to soothe her, I fall asleep in her bed.2. I wish the day was longer. Yes, life is short and there is so much to accomplish. But I have to accept the reality of time.
3. For my children to become happy, independent, and generous adults, especially the ones with autism. I am working on that. That takes work, not a miracle.
4. To accept the life that God has given me as a gift from him. I do believe (but need to accept) that I have been entrusted with special-needs children for a reason.
5. To stop getting frustrated when my carefully planned days turn into chaos, and I cannot get much done. Still working on it too.
6. To enjoy reading more books about autism and special-needs children. I have been dealing with autism for eight years now, so I get tired of not seeing the end of this steep learning curve. However, I do appreciate how much more information is readily available now compared to a few years ago.
7. To enjoy my kids more because time flies. I already have two pre-teens.
8. I still wish I could take a long shower without having someone knock on my door to ask for (or complain about) something.
9. To spend more time with my husband alone.
10. To be able to start running again and have time to exercise.
11. To be thankful for the lessons in love and humility that life teaches me everyday, perhaps to help me stop thinking about myself most of the time.
12. To enjoy life’s little things and the possiblity of being a better mother, wife, daughter, and friend.
13. To enjoy the fact that my ten-year old son with autism has improved dramatically to the point that going to college is an achievable goal for him. Dear parents and teachers, having high expectations for children with autism is not living in denial, but with hope.
14. Be hopeful that my three-year old with autism will follow in improve her older brother’s footsteps.
15. To ignore people (particularly those close to me) when they tell me that I have exceeded my quota of adding 1.5 people to the world population, or when they ask me whether all the children are mine, and whether I had them with the same man.
Well, back to stop wishing and start working.
Thank you to my husband, old friends and new friends for supporting me.